I might have received my first Rwandan proposal yesterday, but I’m not really sure. He was explaining how Rwandans date. I couldn’t tell if he intended to be hypothetical or whether he was actually proposing. The “I am cutting things short between us and going straight to the proposal” made me extremely uncomfortable. So, I did what any sensible girl would do in a situation like that – I laughed. He remained serious. I squirmed. I’m still learning to navigate my way through the cultural differences and the language barriers. I’m not certain I understood Mr. Hypothetical and I don’t think he understood me. Given that, it’s hard to be adept as I usually am at manipulating my way out of awkward, undesired dating conversations.

Rwandans have plenty of cows – that was how the dowry used to be delivered. I haven’t seen any horses yet. So, I’ll say that I’m a 21 horse woman. If I see horses in Rwanda then I’ll change to a 12 lion woman…and each has to be a male lion, with a mature mane. In fact, I should start off saying I’m a 12 live lion woman. (That would bring a totally new meaning to cat lady…) Rwanda has no lions. The little country is too densely populated. That should scare away anyone looking for U.S. citizenship via Grace.

The other night, Matt and Susan came over for dinner. (Susan is the executive admin for the management floor – i.e. COO, CEO, CFO, HR director, etc.) She grew up in Uganda and recently returned to Rwanda with her family. Her visit ended with a lesson on how Rwandans say hello. The men have all different types of hand shacks, depending on the level of intimacy. Woman just go straight to kissing – first one cheek, then the other and finally on the lips. I should have known something was up when Mr. Hypothetical tried to greet me that way this morning and then followed it up with are you married…very-shall we say cross-culturally disconcerting. (How’s that for an attempt to be P.C.?)

Many Rwandans have an impressive grasp of the English language – it’s just that English is so variable. There is English, scot English, Australian English, and a slew of 2nd language English. I’m just grasping how challenging it is for others to learn and speak our language. However, Kinyarwanda is no easy feet either. In fact, some language experts say it is one of the most difficult languages in the world. First, it is a tonal language. So, you can say the same word two different ways and it will have two completely different meanings. Second, Matt tells me they don’t really have sentences. The words just get longer and longer. Third, spelling is not standardized. At lunch Felix (an IT specialist at Urwego), explained that to me there could be 10 people in the room and they each would write the same sentence differently. Its sort of intellectually humbling to consider the complexity of the language as well as the fact the Rwandans I work with speak 2, 3 and sometimes 4 languages.